A meeting by chance…
Lesley and Steve met by chance later in life when their paths crossed whilst working at the Knaresborough Vaccination Centre during the pandemic. Their romance slowly blossomed through friendship and laughter, it was apparent early in their relationship that they had each found their soulmate. With big plans to share their lives, go on adventures, and build a home, Lesley and Steve’s ‘forever’ was heartbreakingly cut short when Steve died at Saint Michael’s Hospice on 31 July 2024.
Getting married was very important to them both and something that they had often talked about prior to Steve’s diagnosis: “Neither of us had ever felt like this about anybody else. It’s not like we were young teenagers and had not experienced relationships. We knew we had something so special.”
Lesley and Steve both have adult children and shared the joy of Steve being Grandpa to his daughters’ little ones. With their loving families and their closest friends around them, Lesley and Steve tied the knot at Saint Michael’s Hospice, a precious memory that Lesley will cherish forever.
A diagnosis that changed everything:
Between going on trips away, long walks with Daisy the cockerpoo, and enjoying each other’s companionship, Steve began to experience some uncomfortable symptoms which he went to his GP to discuss. After some delays in testing and diagnosis, Steve was given the difficult news that he had colon cancer.
Steve began treatment and his oncology team was hopeful about Steve’s prognosis. Before surgery, Lesley and Steve went on a trip to Bruges which Lesley describes as a lovely break away with a sense of normality. Following their return, the news was delivered that Steve’s cancer was far more advanced than anticipated and was now incurable.
Believing, though, that Steve had potentially between five and ten years to live, and although their time together would now be shorter than they had ever imagined, the pair were determined to make lasting memories.
The decision to marry:
Lesley had spent much of her working life in clinical and nursing roles, and she describes caring for Steve at home as second nature and her ‘love language.’ Unfortunately, with the quick progression of Steve’s illness, their home environment became unsuitable, and Steve was transferred to Saint Michael’s Hospice.
Talking about their decision to get married, Lesley shared: “Steve was admitted to Saint Michael’s on a Thursday. I looked at him and simply asked, ‘Should we get married?’ He smiled and replied that it wasn’t how he had imagined proposing, but he knew he wanted to marry me—’sooner rather than later’.”
Reflecting on that moment, Lesley added, “‘It wasn’t exactly romantic, but our romance had been through our relationship.”
The staff at Saint Michael’s quickly stepped in to help make the wedding possible, ensuring everything was arranged smoothly. The next day, Lesley met with the registrar, who advised her to proceed with the legal ceremony as soon as possible. Later that evening, at 5PM, in the comfort of Steve’s hospice room, they exchanged vows—a simple yet deeply meaningful moment that marked their commitment to one another.
A beautiful wedding day…
Although legally married, Lesley and Steve were determined to have a wedding day to remember and arranged a blessing for the following Tuesday. The pair’s daughters and the hospice team got to work planning the most beautiful ceremony that took place on a large balcony at the hospice that has serene views of Crimple Valley.
Lesley and Steve’s wedding day was attended by around twenty of their family and friends. It was complete with an officiant, a wedding dress, flowers, a photographer, a musician, and food and drinks galore; an impressive turnaround which Lesley references as a ‘lovely sort of family, hospice collaboration’. She speaks fondly of how everybody worked together to make it as perfect a day as it could be.
Looking back on her wedding day, Lesley said: “I was so well looked after by the team, they found me a room in wellbeing to get ready in on the morning with my daughter, and Steve’s daughters were there too. The nursing team made sure that Steve was comfortable, whilst ensuring he was alert and awake to enjoy the day.
“The staff were all standing by the door. They were unobtrusive, but it was lovely to know that they were there to witness it after all their support.”
A bittersweet goodbye:
As their wedding day came to a close, Lesley describes that Steve became uncomfortable and was getting more agitated. Steve’s medication was increased and continued to be increased overnight. The next day, Steve died at around 8pm with his loving wife by his side.
Lesley stayed by his side for the whole night, knowing he wouldn’t have wanted to be on his own. A nurse her entire career, Lesley had the last dignity of helping to dress and prepare Steve’s body. Something she will always be grateful for.
Reflecting on their wedding day, Lesley said: “It was so important to Steve to get married, as it was for me, and I feel like he held on for the wedding.”
Reflections of care:
Looking back on her experience of Saint Michael’s, Lesley said; “It’s the whole of your life that is, at such a difficult time, supported by the place, the people, the love and the care that is given, the expertise, the dignity.
“We were here for five days and I could feel we were loved by people. There were certain individuals that I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget they were part of our journey and they literally and metaphorically held our hands through it.
“Although we were only here for a short time, it felt like you were all part of our family as well. People really invest themselves in the care that they give. I can’t say thank you enough.’
“Every time I walk through that door, I feel like there’s a big hug being wrapped around me. I just wanted Steve to get the best possible care, and I feel that he did at Saint Michael’s.”
In loving memory of Steve Culleton 13/11/1962- 31/07/2024.
Help support more families like Lesley and Steve’s by leaving a gift in your Will to Saint Michael’s Hospice. Find out more about gifts in Wills here.
