Nicki’s Story

Nicki Whyms was, in her sons’ words, “10/10 as a mum.” Caring, compassionate and brave, she was the heart of her family from the very beginning. Her greatest priority in life was always Joe and Jacob, and even in her final days, her thoughts were of her boys, asking those around her to look after them.

To friends and family alike, Nicki was the calm voice you could rely on – empathetic, understanding, and someone who made everyone feel heard. She was known for her quick wit, her laugh, and her ability to make light even in dark moments. Joe recalls visiting her after brain surgery and asking how she felt. Her reply: “Bossed it, mate.” It was in these moments that Nicki was strong, funny, and unshakably herself.

Nicki was diagnosed with a brain tumour in October 2024. She approached treatment with courage, undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy simultaneously before returning home for a short time. Even as her health declined, she never lost her humour or her ability to make those around her laugh.

Joe returned from Australia and Jacob from university, so that the three could support each other as they lived together again, for the first time in eight years. They shared precious time together, moments of laughter, conversation and closeness. They reflected on family holidays had always been sacred to them, a time set aside every year no matter how busy life became. One of their most treasured memories is from Thailand, where they took a cooking class together – a perfect example of Nicki’s love of simple joys and making memories that would last a lifetime.

As Nicki’s illness progressed, it became clear she needed the specialist care of Saint Michael’s Hospice. “As soon as we got there, we breathed a sigh of relief,” the brothers recall. “We could go back to being her sons instead of her carers, knowing she was well taken care of.”

Nicki’s circle of friends became an extended family who rallied around her and her sons during her illness – Pauline, Christine, Lucy, Jenny, Mark, Nicki’s cousin Sarah and Judy, her sister were there every step of the way to support the family.

One of the most special moments was when staff organised prosecco on the balcony at the hospice for Nicki and her friends, overlooking the stunning view of the viaduct. It was a celebration of love and friendship in the middle of a difficult journey.

“They did an incredible job of making mum comfortable in a very uncomfortable situation,” Joe and Jacob say. “People think of hospices as dark places, but it doesn’t have to be like that. There can still be light moments.”

“She never had to ask for anything,” the brothers say. “Our mum was the person everyone relied on, so her friends wanted to give back.” Their gratitude for this support is deep: these friends provided practical help, company and comfort at every stage.

At the hospice, Nicki was also joined daily by her beloved cockapoo, Otis. “Nicki stayed with us a while and we got to know her and both of her boys well, and her lovely dog Otis,” recalls Lisa, a Healthcare assistant on the inpatient unit. “Otis became part of the hospice quickly and would wander to see other visitors who came to love his visits too.” His gentle presence brought joy not only to Nicki, but to everyone around her.

At the hospice, Nicki and her family were able to find peace. Jacob and Joe spoke fondly of the staff’s compassion and positivity, which lifted the weight of stress and worry, creating space for the family to simply be together.

Throughout their mum’s illness, Joe and Jacob leaned on each other. “Jacob was the only other person who was going through the same thing as me,” Joe shares. “We experienced it together, and it made it easier to process.”

That bond continues today, strengthened by the love Nicki always nurtured in them. As Jacob puts it: “Mum’s life was covered in love. She was surrounded by close friends who became family. She truly believed you leave a print of who you are on the people closest to you.”

They both carry her optimism and humour with them – the ability to find laughter even in difficult moments. “Even when most people would give up hope, she was thankful and positive,” Joe said. “Any problems I had, never felt as disastrous after a chat with Mum. That’s the biggest thing I’ll miss.”

In loving memory of Nicki Whyms

8^th April 1964 – 31^st May 2025