After David Terry’s beloved wife Jocelyn died at our hospice in October last year, he struggled with feeling incredibly low. With the help of our Wellbeing team and drop in sessions, he’s found connection with others that has made his grief bearable and given hope.
“It was the most life changing moment meeting other recently bereaved people who were prepared to listen to me and tell me their stories. It was so moving.
“Their loved ones had died in very difficult circumstances and were devastated. It was privilege to be trusted with their experiences and innermost feelings. It’s not often that people who you’ve hardly met feel comfortable doing that- this place makes you feel like opening up.
“My feeling, at first, was that someone dealing with their own grief shouldn’t have to be constantly passing me tissues as I told Jocelyn’s story and cried. But they listened and they understood. Listening to them tell me their feelings following the death of a loved one, about being sad and lonely, but also, very importantly, about their staying hopeful and positive for the future, was truly inspiring.
“There were times when I questioned the point of going forward, but they gave me renewed faith in human nature.
“All these little things- every conversation, being presented with coffee and cookies when you come in. All these small things add up to one circle. It envelops you.
Read about our Wellbeing Drop-in
“I’ll never be able to express my gratitude for Saint Michael’s.
“I never knew the hospice offered the wellbeing drop in before my wife was at Saint Michael’s. The first time, Jocelyn made it- which I had great admiration for- but I sat outside in the sunshine.
“I wasn’t sure whether I could come back. Being a man, I wondered whether I should just stay at home. But I’m so glad I came back after Jocelyn died. It’s made a huge difference.
“I had no perception of the level of empathy and treatment which goes without saying. The way Saint Michael’s concentrate on the patient as much as the illness- it’s the level of interaction with my wife which has blown me away. Incredible, it really is.
Help us care for more people like David and Jocelyn- leave a gift in your Will
“The care for my wife Jocelyn was fantastic. She was diagnosed in with esophageal cancer in February 2021 and for three years, we were backwards and forwards for various treatments. Everything was focused on the cancer, and rightly so.
“In May 2024, Jocelyn was told the chemo hadn’t worked and was spreading. When offered more treatment, she decided she’d prefer focusing on quality of life for the time she had left over more chemo.
“Catherine from the Wellbeing team came down to our house a few times at that point to support us. Saint Michael’s healthcare assistants also came to care for Jocelyn three times a day- they were all absolutely fantastic. They treated her as a woman, a person rather than a patient.
Discover how our hospice care supports people living with terminal illness
“When Jocelyn arrived at the hospice, everything was focused on making her feel warm, comfortable and like a person. The medical care was fantastic, but it was the personal care which made so much difference to her last days.
“We had a great support from Radek, from the housekeeping team. Every time I see him, it’s so special with him knowing what I’ve been through.
“I can’t say enough good things really- everybody at every level was amazing. I’ve got nothing but admiration for people providing end of life care every day.
“It made my wife’s last few days bearable. I stayed here for a couple of nights. It made so much difference to her, and it’s made so much difference to me since knowing it was as good as it could be. There’s no good way to go but, the way she went on a lovely day in a lovely room was beautiful. I can’t think of another way to describe how my wife died but beautiful.
“It was really tough but without a shadow of a doubt, the one thing that’s made it easier is the way she received the end of life care. It’s special here.
“Catherine came to see me after Jocelyn died to make sure I was ok and not in meltdown- it made such a difference.
See our free resources on talking about death and dying
“Jocelyn was a wonderful lady. We met motorbiking. She was a very feisty lady, worked in Germany and Holland and travelled all over the world. I thought she was really cool!
“Our wedding was in 1982 and were 42 years married. She died 2 weeks after our anniversary.
“We loved each other and had fantastic lives travelling over to Italy regularly.
“A very stylish and special lady. Always well dressed.
“After she died, I donated Jocelyn’s clothes to Saint Michael’s Station Parade shop– Barbour, Cashmere. Lyn in the shop arranged the sale, knowing all her labels. That was nice to know and my wife would be so pleased that everyone’s getting the benefit.
“Her scarves and shawls went to her friends who wore them at Jocelyn’s funeral, which was lovely.
“At Saint Michael’s Hospice, complete strangers can soon become friends, and bonds can be formed. Perhaps a lesson for us all in life. Certainly a lesson for me: a bright light towards the end of a very dark tunnel.”
Our wellbeing support is completely reliant on donations and gifts in Wills from our community. Find out how you can make your pledge and help our hospice care live on for all, for now, forever.
