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Chrystal’s story

This Christmas, Andy and his three-year-old daughter, Jasmine, are dedicating a light as part of our Light up a Life appeal, in memory of Chrystal; the most beautiful wife and mummy. Her life was heartbreakingly cut short in May when she unexpectedly died at Saint Michael’s Hospice, aged just 39.

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South African born Chrystal met Andy on a dating website back in 2011, with Andy joking that she ‘was the only person to have messaged him’. The pair hit it off right away, with their first date being at a comedy night.
Chrystal who was shy and quiet by nature and ‘wasn’t a people person, nor a talker’, came out of her shell around Andy. He describes her as funny and daft, very strong willed and extremely thoughtful.
Their relationship blossomed quickly, and just six months later, Chrystal moved from Manchester to Harrogate. Andy proposed to Chrystal on his own birthday in 2015, so that she ‘wouldn’t suspect a thing’, and the pair’s wedding day was nothing shy of a fairy tale. Andy and Chrystal married on 7th July 2018 at Barden Tower, Bolton Abbey.
Andy and Chrystal spent their honeymoon in South Africa, a place close to Chrystal’s heart. Chrystal was over the moon to return to her birth place and to show Andy sights of significance from her childhood. The pair also enjoyed a safari and all that the Western Cape had to offer from Table Mountain in Cape Town to penguins on Boulders beach.
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Andy said;
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It was definitely the best holiday that I’d ever had. It was really lovely that the trip was so nostalgic for her and for me to get a glimpse of her other life was really special."

After a wonderful year of highs including their wedding and an incredible honeymoon, Andy and Chrystal decided to extend their family with a baby. Jasmine was born in August 2021, with Chrystal instantly falling in love with her.
In January 2023, Chrystal unexpectedly found a lump in her breast. Benefitting from private medical insurance, in a matter of days, Chrystal was examined resulting in a triple negative breast cancer diagnosis, with treatment quickly following.
Chrystal underwent numerous treatments which were perceived as a ‘game changer’ for triple negative cancers. The cancer shrunk completely resulting in a complete response. Followed by a successful surgery and 15 rounds of radiation therapy; Chrystal began continued preventative treatment. Life slowly began to return to normal for the couple and their young family.
In February 2024 and the same week Chrystal had a mammogram which showed no signs of the cancer returning, Chrystal spent hours in A&E in excruciating pain. After a CT scan, Chrystal and Andy received the devastating news that the cancer had spread to Chrystal’s liver and was incurable.
What followed for this beautiful family is nothing short of heartbreaking. Due to complications, Chrystal endured invasive treatments with long hospital stays away from home. She was in excruciating pain much of the time and the couple very much felt left in the dark regarding her prognosis and course of treatment. Chrystal and Andy never once gave up hope, and from researching treatment believed that Chrystal would live for another 3-5 years, in which time they were determined to make memories with their daughter, Jasmine.
Unable to get out of bed and in constant pain, the decision was made that Chrystal would be admitted to Saint Michael’s Hospice for symptom management.
Andy told us; ‘She loved the chair in the room and would sit and look out at the view. It was so far from what I had seen at home where she was just in bed constantly. The team helped her to manage her pain with medication and supported her to get up and out of bed. She was given some wheels so she could go outside into the garden and take the weight off her swollen legs.
‘I enjoyed it here, it was like somewhere we would go on holiday, short of having a spa!’
After several days at Saint Michael’s, Chrystal had an infection which required hospital treatment. While she spent several days in hospital, the team held her bed at the Hospice ready for her return.
Tragically, due to the spread of her cancer and additional complications including an acute case of ascites that was causing significant swelling in her stomach, Chrystal’s condition declined rapidly.
Chrystal returned to Saint Michael’s Hospice, for what her family thought was continued symptom management. Andy then received a devastating call whilst he was picking Jasmine up that Chrystal’s pulse had weakened, and he needed to come to the Hospice urgently.
Andy was confused and shocked, but supported Chrystal’s decision to stay in the Hospice and receive the pain medication she so dearly needed. Due to the long battle and agonising pain, Chrystal stated;
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I don’t want to die, but I can’t do this anymore."

Jasmine entered the room to say goodbye to her mummy one last time, and then one of our Hospice Team, Megan, took her off for ice cream so Andy could be with his wife. He laid on the bed with her in his arms. Within hours he felt her breath change and she stopped breathing.
Reflecting on his experience of hospice care Andy said; ‘I didn’t want Chrystal to die at home in pain and for Jasmine to remember her there. The Hospice gave us the chance to be together and for Jasmine to be taken care of so I could just be with Chrystal at the end and not have to worry.’
As Chrystal’s family prepare for their first Christmas without her, we caught up with Megan, now a Trainee Nursing Associate, who helped care for Jasmine, Chrystal’s young daughter on the day that she died.
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We were strangers to Jasmine, and what little understanding she had as a two year old, she knew she needed to come with us and seemed to trust us right away. I took her hand and we went for ice cream and out on the balcony to look at the view. She was content in our company and it was a privilege to care for Jasmine, Chrystal and the family. I know in years to come, what little, if any, memory of that day that Jasmine has, will be positive. Also knowing how much that small act of care meant to Chrystal’s family is the reason I love working in hospice care."

Andy commented; ‘Chrystal died on the 10th May 2024 after a painful and arduous battle, but the Hospice was the one place that she found a sense of relief and comfort in her final weeks. I am eternally grateful for the service, care and compassion from everyone at Saint Michael’s Hospice. They gave Chrystal the love and dignity in her final hours that she deserved.’
In loving Memory of Chrystal Shaw, 9th March 1985 – 10th May 2024.
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